Ask a TNF member why they keep logging in and sooner or later they mention the people, and specifically the jokes. We went through the channels and pulled out the lines that still make us laugh, as of September 2026. All of them are real. None of them have been improved by an editor, because they did not need it.
1. The salt channel nobody can see
On September 14, 2026, a friend from elsewhere in the alliance wandered into our diplomacy channel with a complaint: he had been told TNF had a salt channel, "but I can't see it. This is a diplomatic incident."
Cry for us.
The diplomatic corps, he explained, was on vacation. Motty 007 closed the incident:
The salt channel is so lowly used its for TNFED to dream over.
2. Time Appropriate Greetings
Odysemus opens nearly every announcement with "Time Appropriate Greetings," a nod to a corp spread across every time zone.
His April 2026 reminder for the yearly paperwork audit went further. It opened as a parody of a famous scripture, announcing that "a census should be taken of the entire SIGMA Empire," and followed Odysemus as he travelled from structure to structure "because he belonged to the house and line of Directors of the Federation." It was signed off as chapter one, verse one of TNF's own tongue-in-cheek chronicle. We await verse two.
3. Military dossiers
FC Pict1on writes up black ops roams as top secret military reports, complete with "Approved By: REDACTED" and a friendly loss count that gets corrected with a strike-through. A favourite line from one outcome table:
Collateral Damage: Minimal, mostly morale.
4. The promotion roast
Leadership announcements are not safe either. When Lex Ashwari-Thrace was promoted to Director in June 2026, Motty 007 wrote the announcement as a roast of himself. He would now be reachable only "via carrier pigeon, smoke signal, or a perfectly aligned planetary conjunction roughly every six weeks."
5. The meme channel wakes up
The corp memes channel came alive in summer 2026. Malcolm Galora contributed one of its most popular posts in September, captioned "When the tnfed krab parasite takes hold."
Harrat shared a design he had found with the note: "Found y'all's Christmas sweater for this year."
It was September.
6. The Fanfest rider
When the Icelanders were getting ready to host corpmates for Fanfest, Motty 007 posted his list of requirements:
- Volcano eruption
- Bjork
- Northern lights
Pict1on replied that he had Björk and the eruption lined up and was "still in talks with the northern lights people."
7. Even the drones get jokes
Asked why a particular spot was littered with abandoned drones, SadisticSloth had an answer ready. It is "where TNFED goes to test new drones out before we mass produce them."
Why not pick them up afterwards? Simple economics.
its cheaper to just leave them out over collecting them... damn unions wanting more for over time.
8. Salt, served fresh
The corp keeps a channel for the angry messages enemies send after a loss, with names hidden, and the replies are half the fun.
- Pict1on, on one particularly polite insult: "that insult is so british it needs tea and crumpets to go along with it ❤️"
- Meowlicious's method: "I always like confirming their insults. They usually get more and more angry."
- Aralo Meza, on a kill that came with a side of fury: "Let there be salt 😄 nice kill"
- Killjoy Ender, in one word: "delicious."
- Lex Ashwari-Thrace answers most of them with a GIF of salt raining from the sky.
EVE Online can be a stressful game. In TNF you are as likely to be roasted lovingly as you are to be rescued from a gate camp, and if the drones ever do unionise, we know who they will be negotiating with.
